party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
two words: eviction party
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize