I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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