I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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