it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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