Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
