I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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