Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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