i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
