so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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