the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
