yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
