i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
vagina is talking i cant
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
