Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize