My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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