That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
