I need to stop coming to work sober
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
