I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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