you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
