turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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