Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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