dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
