We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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