it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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