I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
