dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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