i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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