oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
