Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
