I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
