you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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