is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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