Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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