I am spending my child support on dildos
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
