I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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