don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
