They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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