I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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