yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
