It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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