I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
