now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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