The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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