I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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