it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
