Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
