i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
