wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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