Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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