Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
