ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
