Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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