he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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