chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
