At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
