ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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