She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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