Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
