I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
