Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
