god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
