Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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