haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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