the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
