you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
