Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
